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Holiday gift ideas from Techno Claus

Posted on 16/12/2022

Techno Claus (who looks suspiciously like “Sunday Morning” correspondent David Pogue) offers gift suggestions for those on your holiday list who love gadgets, for work and play:


Good morrow, dear gentlemen, let’s all take a pause
And welcome a visit from me, Techno Claus!
I come to suggest high-tech gifting ideas,
A job I’ve performed now for 14 straight years.
I’m glad to be here in your nicely decked hall,
Cheap costumes, unplaceable accents and all.

muteme-button. jpg
The MuteMe Button.

CBS News


MuteMe Button ($40)

The stupid pandemic has yielded such fruit
As people on Zoom yelling out, “You’re on mute!”
Won’t happen to me! Because look what I got:
When it’s green, they can hear you; when red, they cannot.
No fussing with icons for these jolly elves;
I’ll never again make an ass of _______.

hotdot-rechargeable-hand-warmers. jpg
Hotdot Rechargeable Hand Warmers.

CBS News


Hotdot Rechargeable Hand Warmers ($30)

These chemical hand warmers aren’t to my taste,
You use them one time, then they’re nothin’ but waste.
But these are electric! Rechargeable, see?
Both sides give you heat to your choice of degree.
No longer must winter mean “chilled to the bone.”
And hey, in a pinch, you can charge up your phone!

renpho-cordless-jump-rope. jpg
Renpho Cordless Jump Rope.

CBS News


Renpho Cordless Jump Rope ($26)

So guess what I do for my exercise? NOPE!
It’s kinda like jump-ropping, minus the rope!
Low ceilings? No problem! tight spaces? Tall hair?
You can even work out if you’re stuck in a chair!
It tallies your jumps on your phone, or right here,
And if you prefer a real rope, never fear!

jbl-clip-4-bluetooth-speaker. jpg
JBL Clip 4 Bluetooth Speaker.

CBS News


JBL Clip 4 Bluetooth Speaker ($45)

You know who likes music while workin’? My elves!
But regular speakers sit up on the shelves.
But this one is portable, built with a clip
For your car, or your work bench, or even your hip.
The sound and the bass are superb for the size
And it’s waterproof, too – that’s a pleasant surprise!

covobox. jpg
CovoBox.

CBS News


CovoBox ($57 and up)

Before: a disaster of cables and gear.
And after: I’ve made all that crud disappear!
It’s true! Don’t be fooled by the elegant looks:
It’s storage handmade from a bundle of books.
The books have been rescues, if that’s not enough
What would have been a landfill, now you can hide your stuff!

kjoy-led-car-sign. jpg
KJOY LED Car Signs.

CBS News


KJOY LED Car Signs ($60)

How often have you, while out driving somewhere,
Had a thought to express to a driver back there?
Be silent no more! Stick this Bluetooth display,
Choose a message in here, and then broadcast away!
A warning, a thank you, a how-do-you-do,
Or make animations – it’s all up to you!

therabody-smart-goggles. jpg
Therabody Smart Goggles.

CBS News


Therabody Smart Goggles ($200)

The world, let’s admit it, is causing us stress
We get more headaches, and we’re sleeping much less.
But these things massage you in places like these,
And there’s heat; you can make ’em as warm as you please.
The app offers guidance for finding your peace
And a monitor measures your heart-rate decrease.
At 200 smackers, I know they ain’t cheap
But who puts a price on refreshment and sleep?


That does it, dear gentlemen: a bounty of fun.
I hope you enjoyed them; now, I gotta run!
I still use the reindeer to get underway
Because nobody makes a rechargeable sleep!

Story produced by David Rothman. Editor: Mike Levine.

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